Child abuse: How to break the vicious cycle - "Children need parents who are present"

Child abuse: How to break the vicious cycle - "Children need parents who are present"

Sotiris Skouloudis – Newsbomb.gr
February 3, 2026 · 06:12

In the second part of the feature, psychologist and Scientific Advisor to the non-profit organization “Iasis,” Stefanos Alevizos, speaks to Newsbomb.

In Greece in 2026, violent incidents among minors are no longer isolated events. From schoolyards to social networks, violence seems to be claiming space in the daily lives of teenagers—not always as an act of hatred, but often as a cry for attention and recognition.

As explained to Newsbomb.gr by psychologist and Scientific Advisor to the non-profit organization “Iasis,” Stefanos Alevizos, PhD, M.Ed., “acting out is a normal stage of adolescence, but when it gets out of hand, it can lead to violence and delinquency.”

Mr. Alevizos points out a worrying qualitative shift: from “traditional” forms of juvenile delinquency—such as petty theft and vandalism—to more violent acts, including robbery and assault. Although increased awareness of bullying and encouragement for victims to speak out are leading to more incidents being reported, the psychologist emphasizes that “violence is not only out there, but often lurks within our homes and is transferred to our screens.”

According to him, the lack of boundaries, empathy, and meaningful communication in the family can turn even a keyboard into a “weapon,” while children who feel invisible or neglected seek violence as a way to “exist.” “The first step is not to correct the child,” he emphasizes, “but to show them that we are there for them”. Teenagers, he says, don’t need perfect parents; they need parents who can stand by them, offering emotional connection instead of criticism.

In his interview with Newsbomb, Stefanos Alevisos conveys the lessons learned from these incidents and suggests appropriate ways for parents to take action.

Newsbomb: How do you define, from a scientific perspective, childhood and adolescent delinquency? Where does “normal” adolescent rebellion end and actual delinquent behavior begin?

Stefanos Alevisos: I think your question is very important, because delinquency at these ages is a phenomenon that evolves along with the child’s development and is influenced by psychological, social, and institutional factors. Delinquency is the set of behaviors that violate the law or serious social rules and the rights of others. In childhood and adolescence, we distinguish between:

• social deviance, such as running away from home or serious truancy,
• and delinquency related to the law, i.e., acts such as theft, violence, vandalism, etc.

Adolescence, on the other hand, is expected to be a period of tension. Acting out is a way in which adolescents express internal conflicts through behavior. This behavior is usually experimental, temporary, and related to the need for autonomy and the search for identity. The distinction between the two situations can be made by examining four key indicators:

1. Frequency and duration: whether the behavior is repeated and becomes established.
2. Intensity and severity: whether it causes serious harm or danger.
3. Empathy and attitude: whether there is remorse or complete indifference to the consequences.
4. Functionality: whether the adolescent maintains relationships, attends school regularly, and has interests, or whether delinquency has become their primary way of life.

We speak of delinquent behavior when actions are systematic, serious, and generalized, where the violation of others’ rights is not just a reaction but a consistent choice. This distinction is crucial because it determines the intervention:

• Drama requires boundaries, understanding, and stable relationships.
• Delinquency requires timely, organized, and systematic intervention.

 

In recent years, we have seen more incidents of violence among minors coming to public attention. Is this a real increase or simply better recording and greater media visibility?

 

The question of whether violence among minors is actually increasing or whether we are simply “seeing” it more is also extremely pertinent. However, the answer is not black and white. If we want to give an honest picture of what is happening today, we should focus on three key points.

Firstly, it is interesting to note that, at a pan-European level, research and figures show that overall youth delinquency is on a downward trend. In other words, in numerical terms, fewer children are involved in delinquent acts than in previous decades. However, there is a “catch” here: while fewer young people are committing crimes, their actions appear to be becoming more violent. We are seeing a qualitative shift from “traditional” petty theft or vandalism to more serious crimes, such as robbery or grievous bodily harm.

On a second level, we should consider the role of publicity. Incidents of juvenile violence have a “dark fascination” for the media. We often see disproportionate coverage: a clash between teenagers can be played out for days on the news, creating the impression of an “epidemic” of violence, even if the statistics do not fully confirm this. When the news focuses only on the shocking event and not on the causes or the social context, it cultivates “moral panic.” Teenagers are portrayed as dangerous, which distorts reality and intensifies public fear.

Finally, we must admit that the official police figures are only the tip of the iceberg. There is a huge percentage of incidents—even serious ones—that are never reported. These are the “hidden statistics.” On the other hand, the increase we see on paper may also be due to the fact that we are now talking more about it. Greater awareness of bullying and encouragement for victims to break their silence lead to more incidents being reported that would previously have remained “within the walls” of the school or neighborhood.

The challenge for us at IASIS and Connect Thessaloniki is not only to count the incidents, but to understand what drives these children to violence before “delinquency” becomes a way of life.


What are the key quality factors that concern you today: the intensity of violence, the age of onset, the number of incidents, or something else?


Indeed, although the numbers of incidents concern us, the real concern lies in the “qualitative” characteristics of violence. It is not just how many people commit offenses, but how and when they start. There are three points that raise alarm bells for us:

The brutality of the incidents: We are seeing a shift towards more severe forms of violence. Attacks are becoming more serious and young people are often displaying an unprecedented lack of empathy. In fact, technology has also come into play here: many teenagers record their actions on video to share them on social media, seeking attention or blackmailing their victims.

The age at which the problem begins: It has been scientifically proven that the earlier a child (before the age of 12-13) begins to exhibit delinquent behavior, the greater the risk that this behavior will continue into adulthood. These children are 2 to 3 times more likely to develop permanent delinquent behavior.

We are also particularly concerned about the increase in domestic violence and cyberbullying. Violence is not only “out there” on the streets, but is also being brought into our homes and onto our screens.


How are digital environments, social media, and video games linked—if at all—to the increase in violence and delinquency among young people?


If we wanted to give an honest answer, we would say that social media and video games do not necessarily “spawn” violence, but act as catalysts that accelerate it or give it new forms. It is important to see the problem in its true dimensions. Social media has become the arena where young people’s aggression takes on a different form. Many young people record acts of violence and upload them online solely for the sake of “likes” and status, believing that this will earn them respect.

However, opinions on video games are divided. While there are studies showing that constant exposure to very violent games can “desensitize” a child to pain, many experts on the other hand emphasize that gaming alone is not enough. A child’s family situation and environment play a much greater role than a screen.

A common denominator in all approaches is that violence is a multifactorial phenomenon. Digital environments are not inherently bad—they offer knowledge and communication—but they can become dangerous. Simply put, the digital world is not a separate reality. What happens online has direct consequences on the real lives of our children, and that is where we need to focus.


Is there a “typical profile” of a juvenile offender, or are there very different stories behind each incident?


The answer is a resounding “no.” If we have learned anything during our time at Connect Thessaloniki, it is that behind every case file or referral that comes our way, there is a unique human story. There are no “born criminals.” However, there are paths that lead to marginalization. In our daily work in the field, we see that delinquency is a “chameleon”. It manifests itself differently in every child. The story of a child growing up in a violent home is different from that of a teenager who is driven by the need to belong to a group (peers) in order to feel accepted.

At Connect, we see boys who often externalize pressure through aggression, but also girls who express their vulnerability through more “silent” but equally dangerous behaviors, such as self-harm or exposure to online dangers. Nowadays, the profile of young offenders is not limited to “bad neighborhoods”. Delinquency can start with a keyboard in a child’s room, when boundaries and meaningful communication with parents are lacking.

For us, however, the offense is not the end of the story, but a warning sign. When a child is referred to us by the Juvenile Prosecutor’s Office, we do not see a “perpetrator,” but a young person in crisis.

Thus, our work focuses on three axes that break the “typical” pattern of punishment:

• Personalization: We do not apply “recipes.” Each of the therapeutic interventions we have implemented is tailored to the needs of the specific child.
• Prevention in the field: Through street outreach, we go where young people hang out. We don’t wait for them to come to the office. We meet them in their own world, before delinquency becomes their “identity.”
• Holistic support: A child’s story cannot change unless their environment changes too. That is why we work systematically with 128 families, helping parents rebuild bridges of trust with their children.

The conclusion is simple. If we treat young people based on a “typical profile,” we will fail. Delinquency cannot be tackled with fear or generalizations, but with work in the field, firm boundaries, and—above all—by offering these children an alternative path before the cycle of violence becomes entrenched.


How does the child itself experience its participation in acts of violence once the initial “noise” has passed? Are there feelings of guilt, denial, pride?


When the intensity of an incident subsides, what remains in the child is not a clear emotion, but an internal “war.” In Connect, we see that the teenager struggles to manage his image. The denial he often shows is not necessarily a lie. It is a mechanism whereby the child tries to convince themselves that “it’s not their fault” or that “they had no other choice,” precisely because they cannot bear to feel the terrible shame of being the perpetrator.

On the other hand, the pride they may display—especially in front of friends or on social media—is a “mask” of strength. For a child who feels neglected or weak, violence becomes the only way to feel that they “exist” and that they are taken into account. In reality, however, this pride is very fragile and is used to cover up deep wounds and insecurities.

So, guilt does exist, but it is often well hidden. It appears when the child calms down and begins to realize the pain they have caused. That is where we intervene. Our goal is not to leave the child “stuck” in remorse, but to help them understand why they acted that way and how they can make amends. It is important to understand that these children are not “beings that cause fear and terror,” but adolescents in emotional turmoil. They need clear boundaries, but also someone to see beyond the violent act, to help them break out of the vicious cycle of aggression.


Often, in public debate, we hear the proposal to “toughen penalties.” What does international scientific experience show about the effectiveness of harsh punishment for minors?


The call for “stricter penalties” is often heard as a self-evident solution to youth delinquency. However, if we look at what international scientific experience tells us, the reality is very different: harsh punishment, on its own, not only fails to solve the problem, but often makes it worse. At Connect, we see in practice what science calls a “restorative approach.” Instead of focusing solely on punishment for what has been done, we focus on what can be done from now on.

Our experience shows that interventions that have a real impact are those that:
• They offer tools: They help young people change the way they think and take responsibility for their actions.
• They educate: They provide social skills and opportunities for integration so that minors do not feel that delinquent behavior is their only option.
• They are personalized: Every child has a story. The “therapeutic” approach, which combines boundaries with support, is the one that effectively reduces delinquency and protects public safety in the long term.

The policy of harsh punishment may temporarily satisfy the public’s sense of justice, but scientifically it is a recipe that usually does not work. If we want fewer victims and safer neighborhoods, the solution is not more prison and punishment, but more targeted rehabilitation.


What would you say to a parent who begins to notice worrying behavior in their child? What are the warning signs that should not be ignored?


If I were speaking to a parent who is beginning to worry, I would first say this: Observing is caring, not panicking. No one knows your child better than you do. The first and most important step is not to “fix” your child, but to show them that you are there—truly present—ready to listen without the threat of criticism.

At Connect, we believe that change starts with relationships. Listen to understand, not to respond: When your child gives you a “signal” that they want to talk, stop what you are doing. The message should be, “I’m here for you,” not “I’m here to judge you.”

Highlight the “little things”: Don’t wait for a big achievement to say something nice. Recognize a positive move, a moment of consistency. A teenager’s self-esteem is built when they feel that their parents see their light, not just their shadows.

Rules as an “agreement”: Especially during adolescence, arbitrary prohibitions provoke resistance. Try to agree on rules and consequences with them. It is not a matter of losing authority, but rather a lesson in respect and responsibility.

Your presence as a “silent safety net”: It is natural for teenagers to distance themselves. Do not pursue them, but do not disappear.

Seek help early—it’s foresight, not weakness: When you see difficult behavior becoming entrenched, don’t wait for a crisis. Talking to a specialist is an act of protection. It’s your way of saying to your child, “I care about you so much that I’m going to look for the best tools to support you”. You can always contact the specialized Day Center “Connect Thessaloniki” (Address: 12 Monastiriou Street, Thessaloniki / Telephone: 231 3115034 / Email: connect.thessaloniki@iasismed.eu).

Change your language: Instead of interrogating, try honesty: “I’ve noticed that you’ve been a little more closed off lately, and I’m worried because I love you. How are you feeling?” Even if they don’t respond immediately, the seed of trust has been planted.

The conclusion? Teenagers don’t need perfect parents. They need parents who can “stick with them” through the tough times, offering connection instead of judgment.


If you were asked to design a national strategy from scratch to tackle violence and juvenile delinquency, what would be your top priorities?


Our country already has the “National Strategy for the Prevention of Violence and the Treatment of Juvenile Delinquency 2025–2030,” which was presented in May 2025 by the relevant Scientific Committee, chaired by Professor Artinopoulou. It is a comprehensive and scientifically documented text, fully aligned with contemporary international standards.

At this stage, our attention and action should not focus on formulating new theoretical approaches, but on the full and consistent implementation of the 29 policies and 69 measures that have already been decided. The Strategy takes a holistic approach, covering the whole phenomenon — from school and online violence to gang activity and fan violence.

The framework exists and is clear and adequate. The success of the venture will now be judged by the speed, consistency, and determination with which what has already been planned will be implemented.

Connect to Protect – Children & Youth at Risk Conference is an international forum dedicated to strengthening child protection and improving outcomes for vulnerable children, adolescents, and young people. Organised by IASIS NGO, the conference brings together researchers, practitioners, policymakers, and organisations working across sectors to address the most pressing challenges affecting children and youth today.

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